Thursday, July 31, 2008
why does it hurts so bad?
i really don't know what to do anymore. can't stop tearing. it seems like there's no1 i could talk to... every1 is so bz wif their own life, partners, work etc. or perhaps, i'm juz too difficult a person to live wif tt there's no1 there for me in the end..
& being me, it makes it hard for me to open up, only to selected pple.
i dun wan to live life filling some1's expectations anymore. it seems like i'm so insignificant.
pple always think tt i'm strong............................. but i'm only human. i hurt too... too easily sometimes...
what should i do? comfort food does not make me happy anymore. a little part of me is dying day by day... slowly but surely... all i m left is juz a shell, a shell full of hurts.........................................
there's no1 who understands... no1 at all..
♥ the world will turn WILD.
8:56 PM
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
U dun seem to noe what I want anymore.. Or is it my expectations have gone higher??
Had a great dinner wif Sam, Juan & Sophia... The food was damn shiok coz it's mostly SPICY!! Yum yum..
Pics uploaded liao.. Fast hor... & which idiot told mi uploading it at Friendster is fast?!?!?! !#$#%#^#^% I'm tired!!!
Please see this link for the pics and yummy food!!
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=23892&l=eee65&id=780723848Ciao!!
♥ the world will turn WILD.
11:13 PM
Saturday, November 24, 2007
i.miss.you.badly.
♥ the world will turn WILD.
1:40 AM
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Today was a hectic day.. Or perhaps it's the spate of events for this past week that has made mi very tired..
Finally, had a chance to visit grandpa's grave after so long.. Somehow, tears juz started to fall unwillingly.. We were searching for his urn place & suddenly I juz couldn't rem wad he looked like.. & I was scared.. Hw could I forget someone so impt to mi all of a sudden although he was gone for 11yrs nw? Or perhaps it was the spate of events that made the tears fall so fast & so silent..
Weakness...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I hate weaknesses.. But wad has happened for the past 1 week will not make mi weaker but will make mi stronger..
Thanks to all hu still cares and
loves mi for hu I am..
Thanks, Juan for bothering to find out more despite mi being cold to u for the past few weeks.. U make mi feel that u truly care.. =)
Thanks, Shanice for showing ur care thru ur msgs although I noe u r gg thru stress in ur work rite nw..
Thanks especially to my baby.. For juz loving mi as I am & being my shining star... I hope to glow for u too..
I shall emerge stronger & be happy no matter wad.. Bcoz I'm alive..
♥ the world will turn WILD.
2:20 AM
Saturday, October 27, 2007
It's so sad when u die without a family of ur own.. No wives/ husbands.. No children.. A loner all by urself..
Wad will the pple at ur funeral say then?
No laz words? Juz normal rituals?
I wonder what will mine be like..
Prob juz rituals alone or maybe I will get cremated immediately?
I noe someone will prob inscribe on my tombstone.. "Here lies Ms Moody.. I'm glad she will hold her peace forever.."
Though I wasn't close to him.. I felt tt a part of mi is missing..
Words can't describe hw I feel..
I do hate funerals..
Or maybe it's juz the forever goodbyes that I can't face..
♥ the world will turn WILD.
1:56 AM
Sunday, October 21, 2007
i had much on my mind.. But after logging on, I dunno wad I should say..
I din noe tt there were many who couldn't accept me for who I am..
I did try to change.. I reali did..
But seems like those closest to mi doesn't allow me to..
Or maybe it's never enough..
I should juz be all alone.. Not worthy to be with anyone..
Tears can't erase the hurt or the pain..
Maybe I should juz disappear...
♥ the world will turn WILD.
10:07 PM
Sunday, September 30, 2007
The Mi, Him & Him Day
LeLe can't wait to have his chomps..
But while there, he was easily distracted by the rest of his dog frens who were juz a glass panel away...
LeLe thinking: "Heng ar... I'm protected by a glass panel.. Whew!"
Lamb cubes with Honey and assortment of vegetables.. Looks yummy??
It's LeLe's food!!
Him enjoying his food.. They even provide a spoon for u to mix the food & feed it to your dog..
The soup looks yummy too? No worries, this is our food.. Keke..
The soup was surprisingly good...
Look at the dogs next door... I was telling Alex they have a "clan".. The small dogs were gathered together near the entrance, medium dogs were at the bottom of the stairs while the gigantic dogs were at the top of the stairs.. See... Even dogs have hierachy.. Lol..
This Chihuahua keeps wanting to mount the Shih Tzu.. by the head... Lol.. The only problem? They are both guys.. I think the Chihuahua finally managed to convince the Shih Tzu to turn gay coz awhile later, we could see the Shih Tzu trying to mount the Chihuahua.. Lol..
The funniest thing was we happened to speak to the owner when it happened... So she was like, "Tt's my dog over there.. The one which is being mounted by the Chihuahua.." Lol..
Nw they are joined by a third party but he was ignored... Seems like they are quite faithful to each other.. Keke..
The human enjoying his food too... I loved my seafood basket coz the seafood were fresh.. & the sotong ball was juicy.. Yum Yum..
After tt, we were off again.. Nt b4 LeLe peed a major pool at the entrance of the shop while we were leaving.. Feel so paiseh.. Haha..
Pardon my leg.. I juz realised tt this was the best place to take pic of him coz he can't run.. Muahaha... Evil lehz...
Walking the dog & walking ourselves..
Stupid LeLe keep following a family of 4.. It's as though he was their dog.. Lol..
"Family" photo...
It was his 1st time taking the front seat.. So he was basically very curious abt everything..
Car Wash!
While waiting, we had abit of cam whoring...
LeLe was quite intimidated by the powerful water spray.. Keke... While the guys there were quite intimidated by him which was kinda funny if nt by the fact tt they were Malays (since they regard dogs as dirty).. Lol..
Ok.. Off to Chomp Chomp for lunch nw... Till the next time... Tata..
♥ the world will turn WILD.
12:28 PM
I feel contented today...
Today was juz mi, him & him.. By him, I mean Ah Tok & Le Le... My 2 favouritest guys in the world... Keke..
We went to this Cafe in Balestier (
http://www.urbanpooch.com.sg/) tt serves dog menu & human menu.. We were supposed to go Town area today, but LeLe gave us a pretty sad face when he realised he'll be home alone.. So we juz had to bring him out..
Spend awhile googling places that are dog-friendly since S'pore is reali NOT a dog-friendly society.. Zzzz...
After tt. went to Seletar Reservoir to juz have a walk & relax.. Alex was reali happy tt he found a shortcut to Jalan Kayu from there.. Lol..
After gg one BIG round (luckily LeLe din puke on mi while we were juz going ard aimlessly) and running some errands.. We went to pick Mum up from work.. Mum was surprised when she saw mi & LeLe waiting for her outside..
Went to watch "I now pronounce you Chuck & Larry" which I found it quite hilarious although there were a few standstills which were a little boring.. After tt, went for a spin..
Went to our Sec Sch (where we first met & "fought"), my pri sch, Sembawang Park & basically juz went around Yis.. The sky was clear & I could see the stars & moon real clear.. Juz feeling the wind blowing on my face & him by my side makes mi feel sooo.... xin fu..
He hinted tt sometimes it's gd for juz the 2 of us to be out which made mi feel guilty.. Coz we were often out wif my frens more often den nt.. If nt, it'll b out wif my family or wif "zhou gong".. Today was a day where we spend "alone", quality and quantity time together.. I felt happy.. No pressures anywhere.. I shall strive to make it more often.. Sometimes pple do take things for granted & given tt he's the man I love, all the more, I shouldn't take him for granted.. Sorry, baby & thanks for standing by me no matter what..
Ok.. Enuff of mushy stuff.. It's late nw.. Shall blog pics of today's outings tmr..
Nitez (or rather, morning) pple..
*Note: This is my blog.. I don't owe anyone anything.. So, I shall blog whatever & whenever I want since this is the place I rant, vent & blog abt my stuff... Ur understanding will be much appreciated!
♥ the world will turn WILD.
3:38 AM
LeLe thinking: "Heng ar... I'm protected by a glass panel.. Whew!"
It's LeLe's food!! 
Look at the dogs next door... I was telling Alex they have a "clan".. The small dogs were gathered together near the entrance, medium dogs were at the bottom of the stairs while the gigantic dogs were at the top of the stairs.. See... Even dogs have hierachy.. Lol..
This Chihuahua keeps wanting to mount the Shih Tzu.. by the head... Lol.. The only problem? They are both guys.. I think the Chihuahua finally managed to convince the Shih Tzu to turn gay coz awhile later, we could see the Shih Tzu trying to mount the Chihuahua.. Lol.. 
Nw they are joined by a third party but he was ignored... Seems like they are quite faithful to each other.. Keke..
The human enjoying his food too... I loved my seafood basket coz the seafood were fresh.. & the sotong ball was juicy.. Yum Yum..
After tt, we were off again.. Nt b4 LeLe peed a major pool at the entrance of the shop while we were leaving.. Feel so paiseh.. Haha..
Pardon my leg.. I juz realised tt this was the best place to take pic of him coz he can't run.. Muahaha... Evil lehz...
Walking the dog & walking ourselves..
Stupid LeLe keep following a family of 4.. It's as though he was their dog.. Lol..
"Family" photo...
It was his 1st time taking the front seat.. So he was basically very curious abt everything..
Car Wash!
While waiting, we had abit of cam whoring...
